End of the year. No kid meassures the year from January to December, the year ends when school does and begins when it starts. At least, that's how I always thought about it. So here I am again. Days away from school ending and I've got... Nervous Nostalgia.
Not my best work, hey, I'm nervous here.
I'm sure you're wondering why, the summer's coming, time to relax. Yeah, that's nice. But at some point you have to deal with the fact that the future is staring you in the face.
One more school year down, one year closer to collage. To the real world. To adulthood, to freedom to make your own choices, own mistakes...
I think I'm going to be sick.
Not really, but point is, that thought scares me. Should it? I'm mature, always have been. I know how to take care of myself. But... you know...
Adulthood takes away freedom, those fun childhood days of lazing around doing nothing. I want those days, I always long for that, the carefree days. And I'm scared, knowing I'm growing up and moving away from summers off, freedom to run around and play, and that scares me because right now, those are my happiest memories.
Admittly I've got a future to make more, but let me freak out okay?
It's not even the finals, it's just nerves and like I said nostalgia. I did things this year I will never do again, some I've even forgotten I did, some I wish I'd never done. Memories were made, and friends are leaving.
This year will never happen again.
Definately nostalgia. But like I said, nerves are in there too.
Because I'm looking at the future and scrambling to get away. Jobs, learning to drive, collage applications, all things coming at me and well, I'm not ready for them yet.
Scholarly, yes. I'm ready to apply to collage, to tackle next year. Just... not emotionally, not yet. I'm not ready to let go of this year. Too fast and too slow, it's unreal. I've got four days left, four days! That's not right! Just yesterday I was looking forward to winter break! Yesterday I started school, looking forward to a fun year with my senior friends before they left. (Off topic but good luck to you all, not that you'll read this.)
But now I'm four days away. I have to accept that. The years over, in the basic sense, only a few things left. No real big events, nothing to cling to, nothing to say "we haven't done this yet, so school's not over yet".
Just four days for last memories. To remember and make more. To look forward and hope.
I'm say good-bye to another year, and looking ahead at one more and am honestly not ready.
What can you do though? I'll face it, and I will be ready, because I have no other choice.